"The National Foodball League" Project: Cincinnati

by Mike Lunsford, Editor-In-Chief of greatgeekrefuge.com

Holy crap, it’s been a while since I’ve done a new city for the Foodball articles! But here I am, back at the keyboard, ready to talk about how food and sports connect us all. That, and share some of my artwork I made for one of my favorite projects of all time. The last time I wrote one of these articles for a new city (I’m not counting the part 2 I did for Philly and DC, those were just add-ons) was March of 2021. Yeesh. Cracks knuckles Let’s get back to it then!

The last city I wrote about was everyone’s favorite blue-collar, western Pennsylvania city: Pittsburgh. So now, we travel down the Ohio River to a city affectionately referred to as “The Queen City” or, my new favorite nickname for this city, “Porkopolis.” Yes friends, we are talking about the often misspelled city of Cincinnati.

History

Much like it’s counterpart to the north of Cleveland, Cincinnati was a very important part of history for the United States. Founded in 1788 and originally named Losantville, the name was changed in 1790 to the name we know today. But…where the heck did the name Cincinnati come from? The name comes from a Roman general named Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus who saved Rome from crisis then retired to farming because he did not want to remain in power. He became a symbol of Roman civic virtue and the residents wanted to honor this by naming their city after the Roman hero. The people who were the original settlers of the town were all former Continental Army officers, hence the meaning behind the roles they wished to serve in their new home. It will not go unmentioned that these white settlers were “founding” cities and places to live on land that was already the home to indigenous peoples. Tribes that lived in the area before being relocated at best, or violently removed, often killed at worst, were the Shawnee, Mosopelea, Moneton, Massawomeck, Ojibwe, Miami and Lenape people.

Now, let’s talk about the ridiculous nickname of “Porkopolis,” and how it ties into another thing that has become part of Cincinnati’s identity: steamboats. Man, that’s a weird sentence: “a city famous for being called Porkopolis and it’s affinity for steamboats.” The 1800s were weird, man. ANYWHO, how do those things relate? Well, Cincinnati is on the Ohio River, which connects to the Mississippi, meaning that it now has a direct route to St.Louis and New Orleans, becoming trade partners. It became a hub for pork processing for the region. That’s it. That’s where the name “Porkopolis” came from. Yes, I built it up for nothing. Deal with it. And the steamboats? With the invention of this new form of propulsion, shipping became faster, goods were able to move across the country at an increased rate and this increased Cincinnati’s importance, and population for that matter. Cincinnati became an important shipbuilding center for these new faster, more efficient boats. From 1816 to 1880, Cincinnati shipyards produced around 900 new steamboats, making the city a primary manufacturing and commercial hub for river vessels and because of its location, Cincinnati became a hub that connected East Coast markets with the expanding Western frontier.

“Gather ‘round children to hear the tale of Porkopolis!”

While the location of Cincinnati played an important role in its growth, development and importance, it also became a reason for conflict later in the 1800s. With the Ohio River running through the city, it was a place that was integral to the Underground Railroad system. Many former slaves used Underground Railroads stops in Cincinnati to get further north in their escape or, because of Ohio’s abolitionist stances, settled in the area. However, because it borders on Kentucky, a deeply divided state during the Civil War, there were many slave catchers in the city, prepared to apprehend these “fugitives.” This caused a great deal of tension in the area because there were people fighting for the freedom and rights of black people, and then there were a**holes on the other side. I know that’s what you come to GGR for: well-thought-out historical commentary. lol

The history of Cincinnati follows the trends of many northern towns. In the post World War II baby boom, Cincinnati became a place for southern Black folk to move like so many other northern cities as the racist Jim Crow laws choked equality south of the Mason Dixon Line. Additionally, as a city that grew quickly because of the wealth made passing through the city and its river proximity, many immigrants from all over the world came to call Cincinnati home. And it is those same immigrants who inspire the first dish on the Cincinnati Foodball identity.

Cincinnati Chili

OK, so before I get into the details of this dish named after our topic city, I want to get on my soap box.

Friends…whether it’s music, movies, TV shows, clothing, or in the case of this article, food please remember something: tastes are subjective. One of my biggest pet peeves are absolutists when it comes to food. I talked about this in my New York article regarding pizza. Food is meant to be experimental, a chance for people to be creative, to try their hand at new things, but more importantly, bring their experiences and culture to a dish. So, readers I beg you: don’t be the person in a social media post that ask “Where can I get a good pizza in the area?” and say “WELL, THE ONLY PLACE THAT HAS GOOD PIZZA IS NEW YORK SO DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME.” Come on, bro. And yes it’s mostly bros that do this. The only thing worse than that is when someone asks the same question about a food and some white lady (almost always a white lady) says “OH, I make a great (insert your dish here) and I cook it all the time!” ARE YOU INVITING ME TO YOUR HOUSE? ARE YOU COMING OVER HERE TONIGHT TO MAKE IT FOR ME? THIS DOESN’T HELP ME CHRISTINE! Steps down from soap box I appreciate your time, thank you. On with our show.

Cincinnati Chili is such a great example of the melting pot concept that makes America a cool place to live. For those uninitiated, you may be asking yourself “Hey Michael, how is Cincinnati Chili different than other chilis?” Great question. Not happy with you full-naming me, but I’ll get over it, random-voice-of-the-audience. Let’s start with the biggest differences: consistency and flavor. Cincinnati chili more closely resembles Greek pasta sauces and the spice blend follows that similarity. Cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, clove, cumin, chili powder, and bay leaf are the common, more Middle Eastern inspired spices used as opposed to the standard chili con carne spices.

Now, prepare yourselves for a shocking revelation: Cincinnati chili was invented by Greek immigrants. I know, shocking that a dish prepared with Middle Eastern spices and is similar to Greek pasta sauces would be created by Greek immigrants…well…if we want to get technical about it, they were Macedonian immigrants. Tom and John Kiradjieff immigrated from Hroupisa, Macedonia, which is now a part of northern Greece, to Cincinnati. The Downtown area, where the brothers settled saw a large population of Macedonian men who had immigrated during pre-World War I unrest. The brothers started the Empress Chili Parlor in a corner of the Empress Burlesk theater building in 1922. What a combo: a burlesque show and some chili on top of spaghetti. American diners were already familiar with chili-topped Coney Island hot dogs, but the Kiradjieff brothers put their own spin on it, using the aforementioned Mediterranean spices. The Macedonian population loved it, it was a taste of home, but so did the large contingent of the Germanic population that already called Cincinnati home, as they had never tasted flavors like that. Thus a local classic was born.

Another unique twist to the Cincinnati style chili is the serving method, on top of spaghetti. The most popular order is a "three-way", which adds shredded cheese to the chili-topped spaghetti (a "two-way"), while a "four-way" adds onions or beans before topping with the cheese. A "five-way" includes both onions and beans. That all being said, NO, the Cincinnati Foodball teams is not called the Cincinnati 3-Way because you all have the humor of a child…as do I. But the name Cincinnati Chili works just fine! So, here is the first team to identify with the Queen City: the Cincinnati Chili!

Now, before we get to the second food icon of Cincinnati, let’s talk about some of the runners up regarding unique food in the Cincinnati area. Like any big city, Cincy has their own version of pizza, but it’s really a product of Dayton, Ohio as the it is referred to as “Dayton Style.” It’s a thin-crust style pizza and uses a sweet tomato sauce and provolone cheese…matter of fact…as I’m writing this and diving into some unique pizza styles that the Midwest provides, I’ve decided to do a separate “Midwest Pizza” thing. Coming soon. Either way, how many dang pizza logos can I have? The answer is…well…you’ll have to see. I can’t give away all my secrets.

Another runner up is something we’ve tackled before here at the Great Geek Refuge. And gentle readers, I hope the nightmares have stopped about this particular monstrosity of food, one we thought remained in the pastures of Eastern Pennsylvania. No, it’s back, and this time it’s got a German name: Goetta.

you know how different cultures around the world, with no connection to each other each had a depiction of something that we all recognize as a dragon? That’s right: scrapple, goetta: same monster, different names

So, in actuality, goetta and scrapple are very similar but different. Let’s gross you out and list out the differences! Goetta is often a combination of pork and beef, whereas scrapple is traditionally made exclusively with pork. Additionally, the binder is different with goetta using stell-cut oats and scrapple using cornmeal or flour. Goetta has been described, texture-wise as being coarse, chewy and “nubbly.” I can honestly say I’ve never described anything I’ve eaten as “nubbly” and been happy about it. The last major difference is the heritage, with goetta being a German-inspired dish, and scrapple coming from the quirky Pennsylvania Dutch “Amish.” I said it in the Philly article: all poor folks have a meat-monstrosity like this…but why must it stalk our children and make the woods a scary place? OH…the German heritage…fairy tales…got it. Maybe there’s a place where I can try goetta and scrapple side-by-side and see which one I like more. That place is NOT here though, so let’s move on.

Blue Soft Serve Ice Cream?

Yeah, you read that correctly. It’s blue. While I’ve never been in Cincinnati, I am familiar with the blueberry-flavored confection that Cincinnatians call “a Smurf cone.” I grew up very close to Kings Dominion, a theme park in Central Virginia. Another one of the “Kings” parks was located just outside of Cincinnati called Kings Island. I’ve been riding roller coasters and spending way too much money on crappy merchandise for decades at Kings Dominion, and I remember when I was little, when there was still a lot of Smurf-related theming in the park. So yes friends, I have had the fabled blue soft serve or “Smurf Cone.” What do I remember: meh. It was fine. And frankly, the Virginia park goers to Kings Dominion felt the same way. It never really became a thing here.

However, at Kings Island it became a thing of legend. In 1993, Paramount purchased all of the “Kings” parks and in doing so, the licenses for Hannah-Barbera left and were replaced by Nickelodeon things. So went the Smurf cone. Here in Virginia, no one really cared. However, there was an uproar in the Cincinnati area when the famous blueberry flavor was replaced with a red cherry alternative. So much so, that Kings Island brought the blueberry flavor back after a massive uproar.

The local ice cream community recognized the opportunity and start making their own blueberry ice cream to capitalize on the popularity. To date, any ice cream company with a brain in the CIncinnati area has a blue soft serve offering lest they tempt the fury and outrage of the region. Part of me wonders why it was such a big thing in Ohio and not Virginia, but alas, some mysteries were not meant to be solved, just enjoyed on a hot summer day.

So that being said, here is the 2nd iteration of Cincinnati’s Foodball team: The Blue Ice Cream!

I promised a new Foodball article on the podcast, so I can’t make a liar out of myself. I have so many other cities to get to when it comes to this fun project of mine, but the next cities will probably be slimmed down unless I find something of ADHD-hyperfocus I find I MUST explore. Thanks for reading! And if you want to pick up some stickers or other merch with these logos on them, go to our Redbubble store!